I Don't Want to be a Welfare Mom Anymore

When I finally got up enough strength to leave my mentally, physically, and sexually abusive husband in March of 2007, I called the police and filed for an emergency restraining order. That order is only good for 7 days. I had to go to the courthouse to file for a more permanant order. Until I was able to get that order into place, I had to go into hiding at a domestic violence shelter. During our marriage, he made the majority of the money. I worked about 15 hours per week as my little break from being a mom of 2. He made really good money so I didn't have to work. And, he really didn't like me working. But, I did it anyway. Well, while I was at the shelter, I had to give up my cell phone so I couldn't be found and I had to let my job know I was in hiding. Therefore, I had no income at all. I was taken to the welfare office to apply for emergency aid. Since I was in the shelter and considered homeless, I was able to get some cash aid and foodstamps within 48 hours. I hated applying for welfare. My mom is a welfare worker and I knew all the stereotypes of someone on welfare. While I was at the shelter, I was tested for HIV and pregnancy. I expected both to come back negative. Boy was I shocked when the pregnancy test came back possitive. I had a few complications in the first trimester. The baby had no heart beat and was considered dead.
I figured I would just pass the dead baby like I had with my other miscarriages. I finally got the permanant restraining order and moved home with my parents. I went back to work and asked to be put on full time now  that I had to support my 2 kids. When I didn't miscarry the baby on my own, my doctor decided to to a DandC just to find out that the baby was just fine and healthy. With the first trimester complications, I was labeled a high risk pregnancy. I had to leave my job, which meant I had to depend 100% on my welfare check to take care of my kids. I was humiliated. I didn't want the tax payers supporting me. But what choice did I have? I decided that as soon as the baby was born, I would get a job that payed enough to get me off welfare. While I was pregnant, I enrolled in college in the massage therapy program. I finished 4 of the 6 classes before the baby was born and went right back to finish the final 2. I graduated with a 4.0 gpa with honors and a job! I was thrilled. This welfare thing was going to go away. I graduated in 2008 just as the economy was plunging. I wasn't making any money. I gave it about 8 months before I started working another job at a grocery store. While there, I was making good money, plus my ex husband had started paying his $1200 child support. I had gotten my own place and things were going great. I was officially off welfare! Then a child support check that I was expecting didn't show up and he informed me that he lost his job. So back on welfare I had to go to make up some of that child support money. Then I got hurt at work on June 30, 2009 and I was put on disability in September. My income went from about $3500 per month to less than $1000. I lost my apartment and had to start collecting more welfare in order to make ends meat.
I am still on disability. I haven't received a child support check in almost 2 years. And to make things worse, I can never be licensed as a massage therapist because of the damage to my hand. I can't go back into the grocery business because my hand can't take that kind of trauma. I keep thinking how screwed I am and I will never get off welfare. Then I was talking to my hand surgeon about a computer training program that lasts for 3 months then has a 4 month paid internship. 85% of the program graduates turn that internship into a full time job. He was concerned about what typing will eventually do to my hand. I told him that no matter what I do, it will affect my hand. At least if I'm working in an office on a computer, I can rest my hand when I need to unlike working in retail where I would only be able to rest it when they told me I could. He agreed and signed the paper telling my company what we had discussed. Great! I'm on my way! NOT!
I called my welfare worker to let him know what my plan was. This program is free to low income people, but if a student is on welfare, the county pays for the program for them. My worker told me that I could not go to the program because it costs too much. He told me they would pay for me to go to college, but not to this program. Are you kidding? I was so upset, but what could I do? I decided to check with his supervisor just to make sure he was telling me the truth. She refered me to the employment specialist that had told him that. I talked to her yesterday. She informed me that the program costs the county $9000 and the drop out rate uis extremely higb. They just aren't willing to risk that kind of money when the county has such a huge deficit. She asked me why I'm not willing to just go to college. I told her the chances of me getting a job right out of college isn't very good right now. At least with this program there is a very good chance I will have a job when I am done. She told me to call her this morning after she had done some research on my case.
When I called this morning, she told me to convince her why she should make an exception for me. I point blank told her, "I don't want to be a welfare mom anymore." I told her that my kids deserve to have a home of their own. They deserve to be happy. They deserve the world. They deserve to be proud of their mom and know they can count on her to take care of them. If I went to college, it would take me so much longer to give them all of this. I just kept going on and on about how this is about my kids, not me. When I was done, she said I had convinced her. Now she has to convince her supervisor. The class starts on January 31, and I have to interview to get into the program. She told me to go to that interview and that she is pretty sure the county will support it.
Now I just have to pray I get accepted. If I get accepted, I will go to school starting on the 31st from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday. And I will start my PAID internship May 1. This could be just the step I need to get off welfare for good! And what's better is once I have been working for 6 months straight, the county will arrange a loan through their bank for $4000 so I can get a car. I just hope this is my time! My kids deserve it and so do I.