All Day Preschool

In preparing for this class I want to take, I have to make sure that I have childcare set up now. I won't find out until the 26th if I got accepted and the class starts on the 31st. So, I decided to start Andrew and Noelle in the full day preschool program at their school. They will start Monday. I'm happy that I will get a nice break from the kids that I have never had before, but I'm sad because I won't be with them. Does that make any sense? They will be in shool from 8:30 to 3 every day. I wanted to start them now on it to make sure they are adjusted before I start school. I think Andrew will have a hard time with it. If I get in the class, they will be at the school until 6 instead of 3. That is a really long day for them. I feel so guilty but at the same time I know that no matter what I do, I will have to be away from them for many hours during the day. Unfortunately, I am the only provider for my kids and that requires me to get this training done and spend hours at work. I hate it, but what is my alternative? I really hope I get into this class. I love learning and going to school. I wish I had the time to go back to college to get a degree. I will one day. I want to get my AA then keep going to get a BA and maybe even a Masters. But for right now, I am just trying to make a happy life for me and my babies. The time I have with them is so short and I don't want to be away from them more than what I have to be.
I was really worried about Isaiah being in school and then going to daycare. He already has issues about his dad not wanting to be a part of his life. I don't want him to feel that I am abandoning him. He is very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily. His dad has done enough damage in that department. Thankfully, my dad agreed that Isaiah shouldn't be in day care as long as he isn't working. He will pick Isaiah up from school and spend some much needed quality time with him. Isaiah doesn't like having to share me and my parents with his brother and sister, but he knows he doesn't have a choice. He has really been enjoying the time that him and I have while the other 2 are in school. He is behaving better and he doesn't seem so angry. I try to spend time with each kids by themselves each day, but sometimes that just doesn't happen and usually it's Isaiah that doesn't get his time. Now we have that time. I have talked to him about my going to school and he isn't too happy about it. He doesn't like that I won't be here to do homework with him or listen to him read or play the Wii with him. But he understands why I have to do it. I just wish it wasn't going to be so hard on him. He is such a special kid and my pride and joy. I love him so much.
I love all 3 of my kids in a way that I never thought was possible. They are my life. They are my strength. They are everything. I hate leaving them, but I want the best for them. The school that the 2 little ones go to is an awesome school. They actually care and love each child in the school. When we got the news about Noelle, they cried. The school director cried so much and just hugged me and my mom so tight. She didn't let us go for like 5 minutes. Then she grabbed Noelle and didn't let her go. The office staff cried. Her teachers cried. Teachers from the other classes cried. You could just feel the love and relief from every person on staff in that school. Where else could I find a school that cares and loves my kids almost as much as I do? So when I am away from them for all those hours, I don't have to worry about the care that my kids will be getting.
They say God works in mysterious ways. I must say that is definately true in my life. I just have to remember to let him take the wheel because he will never stear me wrong.